Natural Family Planning is a decision-making tool that invites you into self-awareness.
It doesn’t allow you to coast in your family planning or in your sex life in marriage. NFP asks much more of you than your typical ole birth control! Why? Well for starters: it’s not birth control. It’s a sacrificial-based system. This means it requires you to practice self-control in times of abstinence. You can’t slip on a condom and call it a day. If you’re choosing to not add another member to your family, you have to not have sex in during ovulation in order follow through on that decision. And, that choice is hard because sex is GOOD and it UNITES couples in their marriage in a very intimate and mystical way (beyond the pleasurable aspects of sex).
NFP requires you to examine your intentions and desires not only for babies, but also that of your spouse. It asks you to love your spouse rather than use them for your own gains and pleasure.
At times, you will be made uncomfortably aware of yourself, your circumstances, and your desires. You may not always be pleased with what you discover, but that doesn’t mean your next stop should be shame city. It’s an opportunity to give it to God, frequent the sacraments, and have regular conversations with your spouse to grow in intimacy in many facets of your marriage. At times, you will be very frustrated! And, at other times, you’ll be content with NFP and with how it’s going in your marriage. The seasons of marriage change and that means your use of NFP will change, too. And, what NFP brings up in you will also change since we are all on a journey of becoming saints.
To be aware of ourselves and to grow in honesty about ourselves is a very good thing: it’s allowing us to grow in the virtue of humility and see that we need God in our marriage – including our sex and family planning. In a culture that constantly tells us we need to be happy and skim the surface of life, NFP challenges us to live deeply and fully. Don’t choose the path that allows you to numb out.
NFP can be frustrating and hard and it can also be a source of great growth and potential in your marriage and personal development. NFP asks you to not only be open to life, but to also be open to who God calls you to be and uses this tool to refine you and help you experience greater freedom in the journey.
We’re called to be saints! Let’s not miss the opportunities that God uses to speak to us and help us get there.
