“The frustration caused by not being able to have children, leads, at times, to discord and misunderstanding. In your opinion, what meaning should Christian couples who are childless give to their married life?”
The above question was posed to St. Josemaria Escriva and his answer is beautiful:
“Often God does not give children because He is asking them for something more…
There is, then, no reason for feeling they are failures…
If the married couple have interior life, they will understand that God is urging them to make their lives a generous Christian service, a different apostolate from the one they would have fulfilled with their children, but an equally marvelous one…
God, who always rewards, will fill with a deep joy those souls who have had the generous humility of not thinking of themselves.”
Your marriage is holy. Yes, children are a blessing! The ache of infertility can be so challenging and difficult.
But, you are not “less than” in your marriage or living out unfulfilled wedding vows and missing your potential in your marriage because you do not have children of your own.
Your sacrament is a beautiful witness! And your vows to be open to children, to sickness and good health, to whatever God calls you to is just that: a calling. Your response matters to the particular calling God asks of you in your marriage. But, you are not asked to control the situation and exhaust yourself in taking on the struggles. Jesus is with you in this and invites you to rest amidst discernment, uncertainties and next steps.
We are all called to our state in life, to our season of life, for a particular reason in which God is refining us, purifying us, and loving us deeply to say “yes” to His bigger plan.
I want every couple to know that their marriage is a GIFT and their fruitfulness is unique to each marriage because each marriage is unrepeatable.
As Catholics, we need to honor the stories each one of us lives out, the journey that each couple is called to, and to remember that, in order to be a saint means to respond to God’s calling – not comfort and not the expectations we put on ourselves or take on from others.
While it might be National Infertility Awareness Week, I want each woman to know how sacred her calling is, how beautiful and unique her fruitfulness is, and recognizing the ache and challenges of infertility is not limited to one week. It is a journey in which we share together and we walk together to help each other and love each other every single day of the year.
You are not alone. You are so loved! Let your heart be seen this week and every day. And, let your marriage be lived out in holiness and fullness because your witness is SO needed in this world!
