Do you flourish with your spouse?
I remember my mom telling the story of my grandma freshening up her lipstick before my grandpa would come home from work to greet him with a kiss & a hug.
A part of me listening to this story thought, “Excuse me? This is the real me! Why do I need to pretend to be put together?”
But, lately, I’ve been thinking a lot more about this story and I realize that my grandma wasn’t trying to hide herself from my grandpa.
She saw my grandpa as her safe place at the end of a hard day. His arms were the place she felt loved, treasured, cared for. She knew that she could be with or without lipstick and he would hold her close.
I think because she felt so seen and loved by him, she flourished in her femininity and didn’t hide who she was from him. My grandma loved lipstick, matching her shoes to her handbags, and a spritz of perfume.
This doesn’t have to be your thing. Women shouldn’t be defined by matching handbags to shoes or what shade of foundation they choose to wear.
I think at the heart of this story is that my grandma flourished because of my grandpa’s love and she boldly lived out her likes & dislikes, her love of fashion, her passion for truth (she held nothing back in speaking truth to people, go grandma!), her love for her family, her amazing cooking skills… it gave her energy, fulfillment, and encouragement to show up and lean into her skills and gifts.
In audience 33 of Theology of the Body, section 6, John Paul II writes: “It seems that the second creation account has assigned ot the man “from the beginning” the function of the one who above all receives the gift (see Gen 2:23). The woman has “from the beginning” been entrusted to his eyes, to his consciousness, to his sensibility, to his “heart”; he, by contrast, must in some way ensure the very process of the exchange of the gift, the reciprocal interpenetration of giving and receiving the gift, which, precisely through its reciprocity, creates an authentic communion of persons.”Ā
The man is the protector and guardian and holds a special role that goes back to the garden pre-original sin. Man was entrusted to help care for and assist in the flourishing of creation and woman. What a role men have to help us in flourishing!
Do you allow your husband to help you flourish? Do you trust him that he has your best interests at heart?
This gift that men have been entrusted with is powerful and it doesn’t mean suppression or domination of women. In fact, it’s a reminder for all men to live from their gift and their call rather than the temptation of dominance (Gen 3:16).
I want to flourish and to have my husband help me sounds like a gift!
What does it bring up for you?
