Abortion has been a bandaid solution to many persisting problems that we didn’t do the deep work to address. We figured it would be easier for women to fit into a male-normative world by shutting our bodies off, terminating pregnancies, and having sex with whomever we want. We did nothing to demand better, to cultivate change, to create a cultural shift in which women – MOTHERS – could be at the tables of their choosing: in boardrooms and in kitchens.
We created a world in which women had to pick one: do you want your career? Or, do you want your babies?
Second wave feminists were in the 1% of the wealthy (yes, you read that right) and rallied for women to want more than a home life, more than babies, more than what they had. They didn’t understand or speak on behalf of working-class women who made up the majority of this country. Betty Friedan wrote a book in which she said the problem “couldn’t be named” and her idealogical fallacies took off with the rise of the sexual revolution in the early 1960s (if you’re interested, the book is called “The Feminine Mystique“). And, in 20 years, women’s happiness statistically declined and we are ranking ourselves as less happy than men and struggling to “have it all”.
Second- and third-wave feminists didn’t advocate for laws that supported women to be mothers & employees: paternity leave, pumping at work (to this day, there women need who still need to pump on their breaks and usually in BATHROOMS or CLOSETS), pay raises. To name a few important ones.
We have an opportunity to stop the bandaid solutions and actually push for changes that will allow women to be mothers, to choose their children, and to be in spaces where both are welcomed. And, this isn’t reserved for the 1% wealthy ladies. This is a dream that is possible for ALL women. And, it starts with you and me. It starts with us showing up, helping each other, and making spaces for each other’s stories, pains, wounds, hurts, joys. ALL OF IT.
We sit in our coffee shops and talk about someone doing something and, turns out, that someone is YOU. It’s ME.
We have an opportunity to MOVE FORWARD as a society by providing women with real alternatives, body literacy education, holistic sex education, quality women’s healthcare, mental health services, prenatal & postnatal services, adoption services… this list does go on & on.
There are so many organizations, services, and spaces that need us. Our fellow woman NEEDS us. She doesn’t need you telling her to call her local PP because you don’t know what to do with her. She needs you in her mess. We need to figure out and lean into how we’re called to serve and show up. That’s the work ahead. And, it’s just beginning.
We have the opportunity to bring in a fourth-wave feminism that:
- Promotes and advocates for laws that support & protect mothers in workplaces
- Provides care for women who need additional support (whether it’s mental health, restraining orders from abusive boyfriends, etc.)
- Ends racism, specifically through targeting minority groups with abortion
- Provides prenatal & postnatal care that treats women holistically
- Includes body literacy and health education that teaches women how their bodies actually work
- Promotes an understanding of how sex works and the physiological and psychological connection of bonding & babies
- Supports mother AND child in providing them BOTH the opportunity to see their dreams fulfilled
It starts with you and me. Are you willing to show up? Are you willing to help?
This work has the ability to change women’s lives for the better forever. And, it’s not a dream. It’s a reality.
